7 weeks, 5 days

(this was actually taken like, right at 7 weeks so maybe i'm even BIGGER NOW WHO KNOWS???)

OKAY. I promised Qelsey I would do this, so HERE GOES.

I can't believe I'll be 8 weeks on Friday???? Like honestly I feel like time has gone fairly quickly overall- which I'm super grateful for. Once I hit 6 weeks I just felt this huge weight lift off my shoulders and I've let myself actually be excited about this pregnancy, which is a nice feeling.

The most exciting thing is that a week from today is my first ultrasound!!!! I'm so excited, but also super super anxious. I am so scared of there not being a heartbeat when I go in. But I just keep telling myself that the odds or having a healthy pregnancy are greater than the odds of not, and also that I am more than capable of dealing with another miscarriage, if that's to be the outcome. I can do hard things.

But mostly I'm trying to focus on all the good. I'm still having loooads of symptoms. The biggest probably being my boobs. They are always sore and tingly and I can like, literally feel them growing. It's crazy. I feel like I'm already a full cup size bigger. I bought a sports bra last week and it's already getting way too tight to wear, so that's good.

Other symptoms include nausea that comes and goes all day. It's probably the worst in the morning, but it also gets really bad if I go too long without eating, so I try to keep lots of snacks around. Today I didn't have anything on me so I ran downstairs to the cafeteria (at work) and stole a bunch of saltines from the salad bar. I haven't thrown up yet, but I've been so so close so many times. Riding the train to and from work is always scary because it's so bumpy and I'm really not in the mood to barf on the floor in front of a bunch of people. But so far so good.

The exhaustion is still very real and ever-present, although I do think it's a little bit better than it was a few weeks ago. I can usually survive the day without feeling like death, but by the time Milo goes to bed I'm out for the night. Although as of the past week or so I've had lots of weird sleep patterns. I wake up a LOT in the night to pee, and I have lots of weird dreams, so I feel like I don't sleep super soundly. Plus there's Milo who literally wakes up every. single. night. at 4 am and asks for juice. Which I get him. And then I pee. It's a good time. But even so, I usually get about 9 hours of sleep a night, which is pretty much the bare minimum I need to be a functioning, working adult.

I definitely feel like I'm getting bigger. A lot of my pants and even my leggings feel tight. And even when I suck in my stomach I have this lil bump. It'll be interesting to see how long it takes for me to get a full-blown "everyone knows you're totes pregnant" bump.

I've also been getting lots of cramping just randomly throughout the day. Nothing I'm super worried about, and most of which I think is the result of the bloaty-ness.

As far as cravings go, it changes every day. Yesterday it was cake. Today it's mac and cheese and gummy worms. Nothing super consistent. I haven't craved mashed potatoes at all though, which is interesting because it was my number one obsession for pretty much my entire pregnancy with Milo. In fact... mashed potatoes kinda sound hella gross right now, which is weird because I have literally never said that in my whole life ever ever ever.

Overall I can't complain with how things have gone so far. I haven't been miserable, just sort of generally uncomfortable. I do feel like I'm more nauseous this time around than I was with Milo. Or at least, this is a more consistent nausea. But honestly it's been so long that who even knows???

Super super super looking forward to my ultrasound in a week, and praying so hard that everything looks good. That's the final hurdle that I just really want to reach to really feel confident in this baby and in my body. But to be honest, I really feel like this one is it. I hope it is.

Next update will be in a week probs? Since I'm 8 weeks in 2 days so that would probably be a pointless update... OKAY GREAT. SEE YOU THEN.